You Have My Words

Today,you have my words: We can be friends eventually...

However,I still need a little more time to get over the incident, the break of us... I need time to recover from it... After my recovery,we'll be treated as friends of each other...

I said,I had a lot of and lots of to say to you,but not now... Because now I dare not to face myself to you... And when the day comes that I can face you,I will never say to you about what I am wanting to say now...

You were my girlfriend, but I was not your boyfriend..That's how our "love" ends..

Let me bury this love here, and leave it to a piece of memory...

又

我又感冒了...晚上睡觉着凉了... 我又得翻出曾经她给我买的感冒冲剂...不过，就快喝完了应该...
我又想起了过年她短信中的那些话...网上说，天蝎的爱让人感觉太强烈，爱结束后，就会慢慢的远去，直至陌路...大概就是这个意思吧..

It was half a year ago...

It was right 6 months ago... I am just hope to remember this day..

Like Rob Thomson sang in his song "Bright Lights":something in this world you just can't change... hence I chose to get through all these and try to start all over again ,with hopefully a little bit luck aside...

It was right 6 months ago, when I armed her in me,tears in my face,sobbingly... I was beaten that time, that was untrue... but it's true indeed..

I told myself to be down to earth, go back to the reality and face the truth and be a stronger man mentally.. it was a listen, yet it's too costful to be a lesson..

I won't forget this...

时过境迁...

再提以往的事情干嘛...

It's Just Like Yesterday...

Half a year passed but virtually like only yesterday..

Psychology effect makes me like never know she at all since we're now apart, but isn't it with the possibility we like never actually apart from each other if we get together some day in the future? I believe this is the true feelings inside of me.. And I am so afraid that I've not forgotten her even right now, with half a year passing away since the day she determined to leave me.. It's unbelievable to hang on this for such a long time which I shouldn't have.. but it proves I am not treating that relationship as a game but a serious one, a very very serious one, what's pity is it's only an ego thinking instead of a mutual one.. which introduced the failure in the end..

I might have been aware of this ending ahead of time if I were with so-called "Situation Awareness" if I were sensitive enough to probe all the feelings and concerns from her...but unfortunately I was not that sensitive at that time, or rather to say,I'd wished not to be that "sensitive" because it may sound not trustworthy.. However the harsh true endings taught me an impressive lesson that don't take anything for granted even to your most trusted person or even your girl.. there was an old saying in china,"It's a shame that even my own body is not belonging to me(then what else is?)".. It's so realistic a world that nothing is on your pocket until the moment you do put it in your pocket, but, you still need to be aware and be cautious that it may be lost at anytime. Surprisingly you are losing the important matters that should've be more than important to you and mean much..

It's also pity you're not informed any more about any on-going matters happening to her as you're not the needed person any more, which is just like you were abandoned by the street-side and was told "we're now the parallel lines, you go your way, I go mine.."

Looking forward,I am hoping to be able to luckily find *someone* who can breath in and breath out together with me, but still, it's like the ideal world, haha, it's me, yes...

Blessing myself with all the best!

I Feel Lost.. Recently

晚上中田在MSN上跟我聊天，说起最近工作的事情，说起最近的部门重组可能对我们team有利，可能老板会更器重我，会有比较好的工作前景... 但是同时，我感觉到了巨大的压力... 来自对工作的重要性的压力，还有对工作负荷的压力..

最近一两个月，我都在全身心投入工作，除了工作，我不知道我还能去做什么，对什么事情都提不起来兴趣....两周前的那次失眠，半夜爬起来，想到的也是工作...IM上跟国外的同事聊，她也不理解为什么我失眠，选择起来工作，而不是看看书，听听音乐，抑或是打打游戏..

我想说的是，我觉得，我越来越不是我自己了...我从来都是一个重视生活本身的我，将来也是...我一定不会拿工作来牺牲生活... 所以，我必须要找到除了工作之外的，另一个支点，去支撑我的生活...

我相信我最终能找到一个平衡点，把工作和生活平衡的处理好...但是不是现在，不知道什么时候可以...

当中田告诉我我忘记了他的生日的时候，我惊呆了，我在想：怎么可能！ 但是我真的忘记了他的生日...这种事情从来没有发生过... 我惊呆了...

最近，工作状态太好，生活状态太差... 希望现在我能拿一点点生活换取工作，将来可以拿一点点工作换取更好的生活...但愿如此吧...

I need more time to get out of this...

Don't Break My Heart

也许是我不懂的事太多
也许是我的错
也许一切已是慢慢的错过
也许不必再说

从未想过你我会这样结束
心中没有把握
只是记得你我彼此的承诺
一次次的冲动

don't break my heart
再次温柔
不愿看到你那保持的沉默
独自等待
默默承受
喜悦总是出现在我梦中